Tak matang lagi

Ada orang cakap aku tak matang lagi. Betul. Sebab aku pun rasa begitu. Aku tak mampu nak berfikir secara dewasa. Apa yang tersurat itulah yang aku terima. Jarang sekali aku nak cari yang tersirat. Aku tak tulis benda2 merapu khurafat dalam blog aku. My blog is a piece of shit actually. I write craps and nothing else. Aku marah, gembira, sayu, cuma itu yang para pembaca2 hambuii *kalau adalah* dapat lihat. Rasa. Sebab aku cuma tulis benda yang aku rasa dan bukan benda yang aku fikir.

Aku tak tulis pasal politik. Aku tak tulis pasal isu semasa. Aku tak tulis ataupun berkongsi tazkirah. Aku rasa aku tak layak untuk itu. Aku tak suarakan pendapat aku tentang undang2 negara. Apa yang aku tulis, pasal lagu, sayang, kawan, pergolakan rumah tangga dan persahabatan etc etc. Kadang2 terasa juga nak jadi macam bloggers yang lain. Yang bagi info berguna. But I just can't. Cause that's not me. I don't know how to inspire people. Bagi tips2 atau nasihat. Diri sendiri pun tak ternasihat. Inikan pula nak ceramah orang lain. Hina sungguh diri ini nak menasihati orang lain. Heh.

Tapi sekurang2nya aku tak hipokrit.

Selamat hari kebangsaan yang ke 53, MALAYSIA :)

Lapar!

Kenapa kalau aku lapar aku cepat marah?
LAPARLAPARLAPARLAPARLAPAR!!!!!

Pakai buang

Yes, another emo post.zzz
I know. I'm getting bored of this too. But what to do. It's in my blood. Hahaha amek ayat mr.Bunch kejap.
Seriously akulah manusia paling bangang sekali dalam dunia. Sangat2 bangang.
I know it hurts, but I can't get rid of you.

You're like my voodoo, and I'm your dejavu.


And hey, faham tak beza sisa2 & cinta sempurna Yuna tu?

Kaw hanyalah sisa-sisa
Sedangkan dia hampir menggapai cinta sempurna

So stop playing with my heart. My answer is no, maybe. Ingat janji u gn orang. Pls.

Demam

Huu. Sedih gila demam di perantauan.
Aku ni jarang sakit, tapi kalaw dah sekali sakit bukan alang2 punya.
Kalaw demam kat rumah adalah jugak baba & mama tolong tengokkan.
Walaupun wajibul gunnah mesti mama bising2 punya *sekarang pun bising dalam telefon.ngee*
Tapi tak kisahlah. At least tak payah masak bubur sendiri, makan ubat sendiri, tidur sendiri.
Cun lagi masa bulan puasa nih. Haiiiiihhh! =.=
Rela demam seminggu kalaw kat Tawau.
I wanna go home!!!!!! Mommyyyyyy huuuuuu :'(

Pagi pagi puasa dah buat aku marah

*Amaran: Entri ini menggunakan bahasa Sabah. Tq*

Oi lelaki!
Kaw bila dah terjatuh terhantuk tertambling2 depan belakang baru maw datang cari aku kan?
Bila kaw senang kaw kasi tinggal aku sukak2 kaw?
Aku ni badut kaw bilang?
Aku xkisah kaw maw buat apa pun. Tapi awal2 aku sda cakap kan?
Ctaw aku awal2 kalaw ndak bulih suda! Apa jugak masalah kaw ni?
Berbaik suda cam taik la kaw sana maen blah jak?
Aku jak maw jaga hati kaw? Haa?
Pasal kaw aku kasi sakit hati orang lain.
Ndakla. Aku jugak palui betul. Napala aku layan kaw.
Cam sial. Sakit hati aku.
kaw jangan sampai I curse you back man. Kaw makan semua tu.
Kaw suda knak skali. Sekarang pisang pun berbuah lima belas kali kaw taw.
Haihhhhhh =.=
I am so disappointed with you. I know I shouldn't trust you from the very beginning.
Fuck off. *istighfar Kai istighfar*
Sudala kaw. Kasi makruh puasa aku jak.





How could you :'( For the zillion times...

Salam Ramadhan

Just finished my mid semester exam 2 days ago, which was so fucked up. Seriously, am I like the stupidest human being on Earth? The questions are so damn easy (NOT!) and paling best sekali, I can't even remember a thing! Mesti banyak makan semut ni tak pun lucah sangat dalam kehidupan seharian. Ni semua salah Syira ah ni. Arghh kill u man jk :D. Target untuk mid sem ni --> Patho GU and Patho Haemo : DEAD. Bolehke target camtu? Haih tawakal ja la.

Dah lama tak update blog dengan yakin. Asyik2 post emo memanjang. Aku pun naik bosan. Cita-cita nak jadi featured blog Nuffnang. Harapan. Haha. But deal with it, I'm super emotional. Tak matang lagi. Memang tak pandai nak kawal emosi. Nak buat cmana? Hehe.

Ohh lately ni rasa cam selalu menyusahkan semua orang. Sedih gila. Selalu tumpang kawan g kolej padahal boleh jalan kaki kot. Tapi confirmlah hitam legam aku balik Tawau nanti. Hehe. Just wanna say thanks a lot buddies! Syira, Aishah, Eg, Aril,Ikram anda siapa2lah yang aku pernah tumpang nak g kolej. Jasamu dikenang. Nanti aku dah kaya sikit aku belanja cendol abang lori tu eh. Hee

Sangat happy si dia dah berubah sikit. Semoga kekal selamanya begitu. Thank you :)

Ngantuk. Tapi tak boleh tidur. Terfikir napa u tinggal orang camtu ja. Orang dah cakap awal2 dah. Ego :'(

Hmm.Salam Ramadhan people! Yeay I'm goin back to Sabah this year! Thank you Mommy!

2 years

080808-080810
All the pain has gone. Maybe.

Alone again

I know I'm wrong. Tapi tolonglah jangan buat saya macam barang boleh main pass2. Boleh kena jaga ja untuk setahun and bagi balik dengan orang lain. There's no such word as 'bagi balik'. When I'm yours, then I'm yours. I'm sorry for the ungratefulness and my weaknesses. I just feel like I don't belong here. I don't belong to you. We don't belong to each other. Like I don't even exist in your life. That's how I felt before. And now, of course. Why can't you understand? It's not about the time we spend together. It's about what we do in between. And please, it's YOU and YOU only. The rest is my past. Forget it, you won't understand. I'm tired. And I know it's my fault.

I'll wait for you, no matter how long it takes for you to built your trust in me again.
But then, tell me NICELY when you find someone who can love you more than I do. I will let you go completely.

Ich liebe dich <3 Take care, love.

serabutlah!

Mr.Bunchman - yeah I know I said stupid things about her. Maybe for you. But it's for real damn it! She's just a bitch! She ruined my life just by not looking at her pun dah jadi isu so WHAT THE FUCK! I did that because aku tanak tunjuk muka aku yang macam sial bila tengok orang yang aku tak suka. So instead of showing this fugly face, I turned away, aku tak buat dosa dia tak dapat sakit hati. Plus, she started it forst kan? Aku tak retilah nak hipokrit2 ni Hello how are you bitch padahal dalam hati menyumpah seranah cam sial. Ok with some exceptions. Tolong faham me okay. Haih. T.T Hope you are doing fine there. I think I know what was 'it' but nevermind, just keep it to yourself.I miss you.


Mr.Bigguy - As I said, I'll be by your side as long as you need me, but when the time has come for me to leave, please do it nicely. I don't think I can go through that again. You know me well, I hate rejection. And I know you know that I love you lots.


Mr.Heart - Please. I am maybe not yet a woman but still, I am a girl. My existence is never there for you to look at. Do you really want me? Cause if not, just let me go. I'd rather live alone than being with somebody who does not even realize that I'm here beside him.


GUYS ARE JUST SO HARD TO DEAL WITH! EFF YOUH ALL!