-Habuk sawang semua ada-
Oh hello there! Anybody home?
*bunyi suara bergema-gema*
Well, okay... -.-
Expect more from me soon :D *fingercrossed*
Sunday, March 4, 2012
It's getting worse. Never been in this state for so long. It's like back to the year 2008 when HIH left me for good. I mean the feeling, not the drama.
I feel like a loser. A real loser. I didn't managed to achieve what I really want in my life. I constantly worried everyone who loves me. I cry every single time I miss home. Well, homesick is normal, but every single fucking time? Le sigh. Sucha cry baby.
I miss home. I miss mama and baba and khalid and nenek. I miss eating good foods, watching flat screen tv, snuggling under my comforter in my own room on my own queen size bed. All those comfy things, yes I miss em all.
People say we won't always get what we want in life. I used to believe it's wrong. But look at me now. Lifeless, aimless, whatever -less I could be. I hate it when people put too high expectation on me. The pressure is always there but when that particular matter crossed my mind, I feel like running away to a place where no one knows me so I can do whatever I want in life without them having to interfere.
I'm struggling. Not with life, but with me. I'm the one who makes things worse. I am too weak to face the shit. I am too afraid to try, too afraid of rejection. Procrastinate is my second name. But not because I like it, I just over think everything. I guess everybody is right. I am too negative. I don't even trust what I'm capable of doing.
I just miss pen and papers. That's all.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Mana pergi ke'tough'an aku.
Baru kena reject sekali dah down berhari2.
Baru cari kerja tak sampai sebulan dah macam orang cari kerja setahun tak dapat2.
Kepada para pemangkin hidup;
Mama : for your neverending ceramah sampai tahap dah boleh buat buku.
Baba : for being the coolest baba di muka bumi.
Baby bro: err untuk beg Zara? Haha. Walaupun kau x ingat kak Icha but I know you never forget me in your prayer. Well, it's the thought that counts right?
Nenek : for being my comellest nainai choleng *and penyumbang dana tetap setiap bulan hihi*
Sayang : untuk ceramah2 awak setiap kali saya mengadu kat awak and serius rasa macam nak sepuk tapi tak boleh sebab sayang. :D
Buddies : sebab selalu ada masa susah senang aku, and selalu bagi semangat kat aku. you know who you are :)
And most of all, thank you for never giving up on me.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Chill lah. Tadi nak memerut, terbantut idea. Sekarang dah lega. Fuhh.
Where were we? Ahah. Happy New Year! Apa azam tahun baru? yadayadayada. Boooorriinnngg. Sebab memang tak akan tertunai pun azam. Tapi tiba2 terdetik nak menyenaraikan elektron2 dalam diri.
-Semua benda pun nak takut. The thing that I hate the most about me is my fear of driving. Lesen dah berhabuk, dalam rekod memang bersih punya tak ada salah. Mestilah, nak ada rekod macam mana kalau pegang stereng pun boleh kira pakai jari kaki. Boo you bish!
-Haih. This one cannot go. Malas nak ulas sebab sesetengah orang ja yang selalu kena.
-I gotta admit that I'm not a morning person. My morning is your afternoon. This is one very bad habit that I have to change since I MAYBEEEEE gonna start working soon.
-Well, that happens sometimes. Not all the time, since I'm a well-organized person (really?)
-Malas nak bersihkan muka letak krim itu ini pastu komplen muka banyak jerawat pastu dengki tengok orang kulit putih gebu then nak jadi macam dorang but still end up picit jerawat sendiri instead of letak ubat jerawat. Fuh one go punya bebel. Urgh katakan tidak kepada jerawat!
-Aip! haruslah nafsu berkaitan seperti makan dan shopping. hmm. Tapi shopping rasanya dah cukup, except for handbags. and purse. and sling bag. and flat shoes. and wedges. and 3 pairs of jeans. and the list goes on. see. haih. -.-
-Dengan siapa? Tuhan ja yang tahu. sobss. sorry.
What else? Silalah memberitahu kalau ada. :)
An update. Finally.
I'm in dire need of a new laptop/netbook/notebook. Like, finally, setelah dimarah/dileter dan yang sama waktu dengannya, I've decided to replace my Mr.Inspiron sixfourthousand for good.
Happy New Year!
*sungguh tak berkualiti, baik tak payah update. hewhew.*