12 months

Despite your:

-muka ketat

-pemanas

-kuat tidoq

-merokok tak ingat dunia

-obses gn memasak2 nih

-tak romantik langsung

-kadang2 hati kering

-cakap nak ganas ja

-tanak masak untuk saya sem ni

-married gn loq kat fb

I still love you so much.

Happy 1st anniversary sayang :)

I love you so much. I'll be missing you a lot! Isk :'(

Baliklah cepattt!

Happykah saya?

Happy! Sebab dapat lepas target and lulus semua.

Happy! Sebab cgpa naek and that motivates me a lot.

Happy! For making my family proud and happy with my result yang tak seberapa ni.*omg belum gtaw nenek!*

Happy! Sebab saya happylah!

On the other side...

Tak happy sangat..sebab tak capai target. I know I can give more, but at least He answer my prayer.:)

Tak happy sangat, sebab my next semester is going to be a lot tougher than before.

Tak happy sangat, cause there are a lot more who's better than me, and I know I can do better than them.

Tak happy sangat, cause I still need a MIRACLE to marked up my cgpa so that I can further on my MBBS and it's gonna be real hard and stressful future ahead.

Tak happy sangat, sebab harini saya bad mood dengan berulang kalinya hahaha.

Anywayyy congrates semua!

dendam

saya ni bukan pendendam

jarang betul saya berdendam dengan orang

paling2 pun saya menyampah/benci/meluat ja

tapi sekali saya SAKIT

SAMPAI MATI SAYA SIMPAN DENDAM. INGAT.

Another gloomy night

I cried for some bullshit reason

And nobody knows why, including me

Life is so effing unfair

My wish

Kalaw aku diberi peluang untuk buat something yang betul2 gila dan memalukan

aku nak buat satu benda ja

I WANNA SLAP THAT WHORE/SLUT/BITCH AND MY-EX RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY AND SPIT HER ASS!

wow.that's harsh Kai.

=.= who cares? I'm harsh and evil. That's the reason why he left me dulu kan?

:)

ahh I'm loving it.

Hectic

It has been a very very super duper hectic life here. The toughest semester so far. Padahal tak ada apa pun, saja menyibukkan diri dan membuatkan diri macam busy. Hahaha. Ada dinner, pindah kampus baru, mid sem *nasib baik tunda*, etc. Phew. I am mentally and physically exhausted. Kalaw boleh buat status analyzer kat fb tu, rasanya perkataan paling banyak kali aku pakai kat status is 'exhausted'. Serious boleh gila kalaw tak pandai kawal diri and emosi. Dah ter-emo dah haritu. Hehehe. Sorry guys.

Nothing much to say, as I have lots and lots to be done now. Cuma nak highlight dua benda ni.

1. Berkat

I know many of us are not satisfied with MSU. Me too. Grr. But that does not give you credits to kutuk MSU or the lecturers macam kaw tengah kutuk anak anjing kurap. Aku pun pernah kutuk2 lecturer. Err, okay, bukan pernah. It's a past tense. Masih lagi mengutuk lecturer. Tapi tak payahlah sampai nak memaki, biadap or yang sama waktu dengannya. Kalaw orang2 tanya kat aku suka tak dengan MSU ni, of course I would say no. But you are a part of this university. I don't blame the students kalaw ketidakpuasan hati tu ada. But please, if you want to gain some respects, then you have to respect people first. Especially those yang mengajar kita. Tak berkat nanti macam mana? Kaw ingat kaw pandai tu belajar sendiri? Gifted? Kalaw gifted pun tapi nobody's there to guide us, you are nobody. Learn some respect people, it's for your own good. Doesn't mean that the lecturers/teachers semua betul. Dua2 pun ada salah. But why don't instead of maki2 them kita sama2 improvekan diri kita? Bincang betul2? Bukan memaki2 macam itu. Aku yang kaki memaki dan mempunyai kadar pemakian yang agak tinggi dalam seminit ni pun jadi takut bila tengok fenomena ni semakin menjadi2 lately ni. Bukan nak backing or jadi tali barut siapa2. Just want us to be more mature and think wisely. Cheers? :)

2. Kawan

Ni lagi satu. Nak marah tak boleh. Nak gelak pun dah tak larat. Sudahnya jadi pemerhati and pakar motivasi apa yang patut. Senang cerita camni la eh. Sudah2lah bergaduh tu. Kalah2 perang dunia kedua. Hehehe. Turunkan ego masing2. Tak bawak ke mana semua tu. Jangan letak dalam minda kita ni yang berkawan berdua je. Pernah dengar ke, 'berkawan biar satu, bercinta biar beribu?' Tak kan? Semua kata berkawan biar beribu bercinta biar satu. Kita bukan hak milik siapa2. Hak Tuhan. Hidup hanya pinjaman, dah mati kita pulang balik kat tanah. There is no such thing as 'you are my bestfriend, you can't be friend with others/tak boleh rapat dengan orang lain. Kalaw tak aku perli kaw cukup2'. For God's sake, pleaseeeeee tukar sikit mind set tu. And don't avoid your problems! Siapa yang pandai2 cakap avoid masalah lagi baik? Kepala hangguk dia! Kalaw avoid sekejap takpa, yala maybe nak bagi cool down and all that. Tapi kalaw lama? Makin lama kita biarkan masalah ni berlarutan, makin banyak masalah yang timbul. Akhirnya? Orang tak marah dengan punca first yang buat gaduh, tapi marah dengan apa yang terjadi lepas tu. Fikirlah baik2 kawan2ku sayang. :)

I'm not a saint, I'm not an angel. People make mistakes and so do I. I'm just giving my opinion based on the current situation revolves around me. Maaf kalaw ada yang terasa atau aku ada terkasar bahasa okay? Have a good day! :)

Short hols

Cuti yang sangat membosankan. Sangat menyesal tak balik Tawau T.T

Rasanya separuh dari cuti ni aku habiskan dengan tidur. Ganti balik semua yang tak terganti. Ceh macam hari biasa tak tidur berjam2.Ngee~

Nothing much, online, FB, blog walking, sleep, eat, gaining weight instead of losing some hehe.

Nasib baik mummy Janet datang. I miss you mummy!

Yang lawaknya, our new daddy is my ex-schoolmate masa sekolah rendah!

Punyala syok dia describe pasal konon sorang studentlah nama Khairunnisa.

And fyi masa tu ada 4 orang nama Khairunnisa dalam kelas aku.

Rupanya orang yang dia describe tu aku, sebab aku sorang je yang lulus PTS.

Patutlah muka familiar gila. Hahaha. Sott.

The old friend beside me, with the girls.

Then we went for a movie, Daybreaker with the girls on Sunday, rasanyalah. See hari pun dah lupa.

Sumpah tak nak tengok lagi. Thirah la punya pasal!

Nasib baik Ethan Hawke yang berlakon. And the cute Michael Dorman!

Mata dia sangat bulat & cantik :)

G.D.O :)

Then the day before mummy went to Pahang we had dinner together at a steamboat restaurant.

RM20 all-you-can-eat

But have to pay RM5/100 gram for any leftovers.

Gila bloated habislah. Dahlah aku tak makan steamboat sangat. Nasib baik sedap gak.

And first time tengok udang pelik. Tapi tak sedap.

Udang Tawau jugak terbaik!

Paling sedap aiskrim honeydew. Yummy! Menyesal tak makan banyak2 :'(

Pelik. Eeeuuww.

The foods.

Yummy! You save my day!

Love

Them.

Next, went shopping with Farah meow *aigoo every Farah pun Farah meow.lol*

Dia tak pernah naik KTM, LRT or yang sama waktu dengannya.

So agak funny jugaklah bila melihat beliau terpinga-pinga and buat jalan sendiri kat stesen tu.haha!

And shopping kat SW pun tak pernah. TS pernahlah kot.

So I brought her there last Friday and guess what?

Instead of 1-2 things for RM100++ kalau kat Sunway, dia dapat 6 barang!ngee~

clap clap clap!

Me too! Hee~ Sangat berbangga kerana berbelanja kurang dari bajet.

So here's what I bought

Floral jacket - RM10

Long top - RM 15

Heart dress/top/wtv you called it - RM10

Spectacle frame*is it?sebab tak ada cermin* - RM10

Clincher - RM10

Syg's shirt - RM19.90

Sandal - RM 39.90

______________________________________

Total : RM114.80!

______________________________________

Plus

Lunch - RM10

Misc *tickets, drinks, etc* - RM12.20

Dinner - RM7

______________________________________

Total : RM114.80 + RM29.20 = RM RM144.00

______________________________________

Yeay! Berbaloi-baloi.

Okay minggu ni jangan ada siapa2 ajak p makan luar.

Makan maggi je kat umah. Berjimat punya pasal.

Muahahaha.

Me & meow :)

Suka cermin mata ini!

Then semalam masa tengah blog walking, terjumpa satu blog ni. Dia jual floral jacket yang aku beli RM10 tu dengan harga RM50! Lucky me!

*bought it for RM10 only!*

So that's how I spent my holiday, wisely. * I guess*

Hee. Ohh. Holiday is over.

So, hello short sem!

takut

tiba-tiba takut.

kenapa ramai sangat orang mati ni?

kenapa aku pun rasa macam x lama lagi nak mati?

macam nak menangis pun ada.

banyak sangat dosa aku lagi.

tak cukup lagi bekal nak bawak mati.

kenapa ni?kenapa tiba2?

tiba2 mati eksiden ke or anything.

kenapa?

kenapa?

kenapa?

i wanna cry :'(

i wanna go home:'(

is it just homesick+emo or is it fated that it's almost time?

nauzubillah.

astaghfirullahalazim.

:'(:'(:'(

kalaw bukan diriku,peliharalah keluargaku dulu.

amin.

All the right friends in all the right places

The title has nothing to do with the post. Just sooo into this song auww!

Well I've just finished my 4th semester as a BMSians. To be exact, 6 days ago. And now I'm enjoying my holiday to the max. Ganti tidur sebanyak yang mungkin, ganti makan yang tak cukup and all. Great. Can't wait to gain weight. *sarcasm much*. Tak ada idea sebenarnya nak update tapi mata degil sangat tak nak tutup. If you hate reading too much crap than skip this blog. It's not worth it. Haha. Funny.NOT.

Ok forget it. I have no idea. Off to bed. Babai!

8B 2.21

Bila tengok kambing biri-biri yg Real Player pelihara ni, teringat dgn 3 wonderful girls a.k.a my ex-roommate di Labuan

Pat a.k.a Bebeh 1

Kay a.k.a Bebeh 2

C-lut a.k.a Bebeh 3

Kai a.k.a Bebeh 4

Ingat lagi masa bulan puasa, abg lolo bagi ikan goreng paling sedap pernah aku rasa. Sekor2 laie tu.

Pastu masa dia jeles bila taw aku ada boipren sua *time tu laaaaa*

And then dia bagi aku biskut 1 tin.hehehehe

Then,kita seludup periuk nasi masuk dalam bilik.

Itulah kita pakai masak nasi, masak cekodok, sotong Rex dalam tin, telur dadar, apalagi tah. Banyak gila.muahahaha

Bila ada ura2 konon2 ada spot check langsung panik. Ndak taw di mana2 kasi sembunyik tu barang. Apa lagi kalaw Miss Rosa datang. Aduii paling panik sua.

Last2 masa kuar dari KML kita derma ja gn makcik2 cleaner tu. Huhuhu

Pastu aku gn cLut la paling malar eskep assembly. hahaha. One day pat & kay tiba2 plak maw join eskep. Boleh pulak time tu la ada spot check gila kaw2 punya. Bergegar semua sembunyi bawah katil! hahaha! Pat gn kay lagi yg budak baik. lol! Pastu Miss Rosa p psycho2 kita suh keluar kononkan?gilaa ehh! Memang kamikaze kita time tu. Keluar bgegar2 lagi bha. Aku pulak berkemban2 lagi time tu menahan kencing lagi tu.hahaha!

Masa raya, tinggallah kami yang ndak balik ni. Menyanyi lagu raya kuat2 di blok. Pastu mama cLut kirim ayam masak sate. SEDAP GILAAA!*bila lagi kaw maw kirim ma aku lut?hehe*. Pastu dapat baju raya and sandal yang lucu gila. Tapi bertahan oo sampai sekarang sandal tu. hehe. And masa malam takbir tu jugaklah ehem2 :'(. forget it. lol. The best memory ever in my life.

Ingat lagi Ujana Kewangan @ kita punya UK? hehehe. Masa last2 tu aku gn cLut sanggup panjat pagar besar tepi blok A and asked Kay and Pat to pick us up there sebab HEP ka sapa nama laki tu suruh kuar pakai baju kurung. duh! Sorrylah maw outing pakai baju kurung kan. haha. So aku gn cLut pun dengan beraninya memanjat pagar besar tu and sembunyi dekat semak samun. Sudahlah mengadap rumah warden!:D

Not forgetting the psycho freak yang kacau Pat tu. haha. Dengan kita sekali kena berlakon macam2 maw elak tu orang. Is he still alive Pat?lol! Clut jangan cakaplah. Paling rebel dalam dunia punya budak.haha. Kay pulak budak baik. Paling terer Math kan? Sekarang kaw amek Math ka d UPSI? haiyoo lost contact dy. See? We need to catch up things laaa!

Paling ndak boleh lupa, masa aku sikit lagi tertinggal flight. Itulah malar menengok Full House dari 1st sampai last episode. Then konon2 maw tidur 15 minit jak. Boleh pulak xsedar hp silent. Flight pukul 7.3o terbangun pukul 7! Damn! Satu bilik panik oleh aku. Pat tolong call teksi, Kay cLut tolong kemas barang xsilap. Pastu tolong angkat barang pi lari berkejar p guard. Thanks kamu! Sudahlah x berus gigi x mandi. Janji gn kepala lipas maw balik sama2 tapi kesian dia kol aku sampai 25x * I still remember berapa kali miskol aku dapat* x bangun2 jugak. Sampai KK jumpa mom terus menangis terkejut.haha gila funny!

I miss you dear roommates! Bilalah kita maw jumpa lagi ni. Tadi tengok2 gambar kita masa dulu, kan aku paling gila bergambar. Camwhore me lol. Digicam cLut penuh gn mukak aku jak. Pa lagi laptop Kay.kan?hehehe I miss my long hair! Tawka my hair pendek suda iskk..sekarang dalam usaha maw memanjangkan rambut. hehehe.

I MISS YOU GIRLS SO MUCH!

Thanks for the memories :)

May our friendship last forever babes!

song

straightjacket feeling * remind me of cLut*

feels like giving up!

warning:

post ini mengandungi isi2 luahan perasaan

seorang pelajar yang telah mengalami krenasi otak

akibat tekanan semasa sesi pembelajaran.

So bear with it.

First of all, fuck my latest posts. Stupid emo zz =.=.

But still, I feel like keeping it up here. Just as a reminder to that certain someone that I'm fucking MAD & DISAPPOINTED at you! Wait till you get back here and I'll punch you right on your face! grr!

Next, sorry if this post will be full of F words. I don't effing care. I HATE NUMBERS! Why on earth do I have to learn this thing AGAIN! I thought those foundation days were the last time I'm going to spend my life with these stupid numbers,but NOPE! I was wrong. Arggh!

Then my clashing papers are so killing me. Like wtf? CM & GIT? How am I going to score both?I don't want to spoil my grade. I was very happy with my midsem grades but now I have to sit for 2 papers and I don't even have time to eat!grr aumm aumm!I wish I could turn into a lion and NGAPP them all!

I HAVE TO GET DEAN'S LIST TO GET THROUGH MY MBBS & HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!

Okay relax Kai. Chill. Yeah. Everybody says that. But I just can't! I'm so freaking nervous, got a lot to study and yet I'm still here blogging and facebooking. Whatever. At least I have a place to ease this burden. Don't have to tercari2 someone when he's not even there. grr. Tensionnnnn.

I almost feel like giving up on everything. My study, relationship. ALL. Luckily, my family loves me more than anybody else and they are the reason why I'm still breathing here. I know I cant' let it go just like that. Sabar Kai. 5 hari lagi. After that you'll be as free as a bird!

Yeahh!

Dear Biostatistic, Clinical Medicine & Pathophysiology of Gastrointestinal System...

You won't be able to defeat me!

I'll knock you down to the max!

Ganbatte Kudasai!

sekian sahaja luahan hati buat hari ini

toodles!

10

I missed the old days

Where you always hold my hand tightly under the table and never let go

Where you always look me in the eyes, and I know it says that you love me so much

Where you used to kung2 me at the back from P to R

Where we used to sneak out at midnight till early morning

And you send me back home with a smile on your face

I missed that so friggin' much

My patience reaches its limit

I know you'll be good without me

And so do I

So I'm off for good

Happy 10th

And I love you so much

smn2

you don't seems to care much of losing me don't you?

THANKS A LOT

I feel MUCH MUCH BETTER

fb

I'm currently deactivating my fb.

For good of course.

I can't stand the pain anymore.

Bubbye peeps.

what do you want from me

seems like you don't even care much about me

great

tak mati pun kaw xda

I can do whatever I want

EVERYTHING I used to do before.

puff.wee.

smn

I miss you.

But I can't be with you like this.

When will you stop doing this to me?

When can I feel the existence in your life?

How I wish the way you treat me will never change

*deep sigh*

I'm holding on for the sake of love and faith.

I'm faking all the laugh and smile, hoping that somehow, someday it will come out sincerely from my heart.

I'm still here, cause I know you love me more than I love you.

And I hope that's true.

Thank you,love.

Take care.

Gonna miss you much.