Right now, I don't even get the minimum cgpa to pursue my study. But that's not what bothering me the most. If I ever get the chance, will I be able to cope with everything? This degree enough is so stressful. I start questioning myself. Is it for me or for my family?
Of course I do want it for myself. Ever since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to be a doctor. I'm very sure of that. I lead my way, I lead my future. I do what I want, did everything without regrets. But now I'm not sure anymore.
I want this for me. For mama, for baba. But now I just can't. I know how much they want me to be a doctor. So do I. But with this total mess surrounds us, I'm not looking forward to the path I used to follow. The idea of pursuing into master degree is the only thing I have in mind right now. That, I'm not sure either. I don't want to let them down, but at the same time I'm too exhausted with the dramas. Enough with money, interview, cgpa. I'm done.
Ya Allah permudahkanlah jalan kami, sekurang2nya rakan2ku yang benar2 mahukannya.
Tunjukkanlah aku jalan yang betul, yang sepatutnya untukku. Amin.
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