Entah.

Two years in a serious relationship. Well, that wasn't me. But that is, now.

Considering the fact that I'm the most boring person in the world, with my hot-tempered perangai and stupid, irrational mood swing yang tak tentu pasal, queen control, lepas baran kat orang lain, tak tahulah berapa lama lagi orang tahan.

And yes, benda paling pantang dalam hidup aku adalah kena tipu. Walaupun penipuan yang remeh temeh.

Tapi sekarang, aku kesian sangat dengan orang tu. Tapi dalam masa yang sama, aku teringat balik benda2 orang tu buat dulu kat aku. Even though obviously, what he did is NOTHING compared to what I did behind him.

Why?

I'm sorry.

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Dateline(s)

11/8/11: Draft log book/ lab report.

13/8/11: Iftar with Najwa and the rest *insya Allah*.

15-16/8/11: Thesis presentation.

20/8/11: Iftar with Tawauians.

22-26/8/11: VIVA.

28/8/11: Final submission for thesis.

??/8/11: Final submission for log book/lab report

24/8/11: KL-KK!

25/8/11: KK-TWU!

Kalau betul tesis hantar 28hb, memang aku mati nak kena siap awal gila.

Kalau betul presentation 15-16hb, memang aku mati separuh.

Kalau VIVA aku dapat 22 or 23hb, separuh lagi mati.

Kesimpulannya, 2 minggu ni jangan kacau aku dengan benda2 tidak bermoral! I have to fill up my last 2 weeks as as student of Bachelor of Medical Sciences dengan sebaik2 alam!

Sumpah aku habis ja semua ni aku nak p makan sedap2. SERIUS SHIT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Night.

SMN #3

Rindu tahu tak.

Thank you sebab ada lagi untuk saya sampai sekarang

Walaupun saya fikiran cetek/childish/kuat mengeluh/panas baran/moody/etc

Tapi sampai sekarang ada lagi awak kat sini. Tak tahulah sampai bila, kalau boleh mestilah nak sampai bila-bila.

Sorry sebab selalu uji sabar awak. Saya tak sabar macam awak.

Saya minta awak tahan sikit ja lagi sampai saya habis degree.

Lepas tu awak boleh cuti kejap daripada menjadi mangsa lepas tension saya sebelum saya sambung belajar lagi. Boleh? Hebat tak saya bagi cuti kat awak? Hehe

Nak jumpa. Lepas ni dah balik Tawau cmana nak jumpa. Nanti awak jumpa awek2 hot kat sana saya cmana. Da la saya ni tak hot, pendek, gemuk, pemanas lagi tu

Tsk :'(

Tapi gluteus maximus saya hot, mana ada orang yang ada glutmax lagi hot dari saya.

Suka tak? Hehe *gila*

Ilysm. Thank you for everything, thank you for your immeasurable support and love in my life.

Happy 799 days ♥

Cravingness

Deep Fried Chicken Wings, Full House *YUMMM!*

Alfredo Spaghetti, Full House *YUMMM!*

Baked Potato, Wondermilk *YUMMM!*

Chicken Lasagna, Baci *OHSEMMM!*

Bolognese, Baci *OHSEMM NUMBER 2!*

Kimchi Jigae, Gomone *YUMMM!*

Dak Bulgogi, Gomone *YUMMM!*

Thank you Najwa and Ecah yang melunaskan keinginan Wondermilk, Nanad and Fiza for Gomone *thanks for the treat Nad!* and of course my favorite guy sebab sanggup layan nak tukar tempat duduk hanya sebab nak ambil gambar background kartun2 kat Full House -.- And yes for the treat too!

I love my tummy! Eat eat eat!

Tired

In life, you will come to an end point where you can't think of anything to do.

You are too tired to think, act, move, eat, sleep *sleep also can tired oneee*

I've been dealing with too much pressure, that explains my terrible mood swing for the past 2 weeks.

Thesis, log book, lab report, presentation, viva

Stupid, brainless people

MBBS, Master ???

Yeah, that's it. I'm tired. Exhausted to be exact. I need a day out with my favorite person, but he's far far away, busy making money and can't even take a good care of himself.

Ya Allah, please show me the way, give me the strength, shower me with your blessings. Amin.

Bab bab!

Wa memang mulut macam cibai sikit tapi wa sayang kawan2 wa

Lu tak payah nak sentap2 gn wa wa ketok pala lu karang

Kalau lu ada terasa gn wa wa minta maaf la

Kadang2 apa wa cakap memang tak masuk akal, tapi kadang2 apa wa cakap untuk kebaikan dan cita2 lu jugak

Love you ecah bab bab!

*kita tengok sapa bikin hal besar ini post. ngeh3*

Kecik sangat ke?

Kes 1 :: Nak beli cincin kat kedai atas talian

Masalah

-Saiz tak ada. besar sangat. besar sikit. ada saiz, sampai2 bila cuba longgar lagi. dah boleh main cincin macam main2 dengan super ring.

Penyelesaian

-Kena bertungkus lumus cari cincin kat flea market e-curve,sg.wang,etc. or ketuk2 sikit cincin tu bagi saiz jadi kecil. jual memang takkanlah, aksesori kegemaran tu.

Kes 2 :: Nak beli kasut. Atas talian dalam talian luar talian semua talian

Masalah

-Saiz tak ada. tak ada dan tak pernah ada.

-Flats: cotton on: ada. BOM: dulu ada, sekarang dah tak muat. tak tahulah kaki yang mengecut atau kasut2 kat sana dah mengembang. vincci: kadang2 ada. nose: jarang2 ada

-Sneakers: TAK PERNAH ADA !@#$%^&*()

Penyelesaian

-Flats: pakai kasut lama ja

-Sneakers: beli kasut size budak2. Converse budak2, nike kids, semua kids.

Kes 3 :: Pakaian

-TAK PAYAH REVIEWLAH PENDEK KATA SEMUA TAK MUAT/PANJANG/BESAR.

TENSION TAHU TAK! NAK BUAT KILANG KASUT/BAJU/AKSESORI SENDIRILAH!

*UPDATED*

Oh, actually satu2nya benda yang tak perlu risau adalah apa2 pakaian yang memerlukan ukuran di bahagian ehem buttock, kerana gluteus maximus saya sudah cukup mantab untuk menampungnya. Terima kasih Eg kerana mengingatkan saya!

Mari sambung angan2 impian

16 places I wanna go for food hunting in 5 months time

• Bubba Gump
• Strawberry Field
• Delicious
• Paddington House of Pancakes
• Full House *yes I'm lame haven't got there yet*
• Gomone *just to eat that thingamajig. Oh, chicken. And rice.*
• Chilli's
• Nando's *pernah makan tapi nak makan kat sana*
• T.G.I.F
• Ole-Ole Bali
• Bumbu Desa
• Marche Movenpick Restaurant
• Ma'cik Briyani
• The Apartment
• Secret Garden
• Wondermilk

Malas gila nak upload gambar. Nanti bila dah pergi saya akan upload yeyy!

Any other suggestions?

What I really want right now

1. A car. Doesn't matter my Kenari or a new one *cough cough*. And of course, the courage to drive it. Argh!

2. Back at home, goyang2 bontot dan makan dengan sedapnya. And bergelak ketawa bersama keluarga.

3. I wanna learn baking and cooking. Doing it right now, slowly.

4. Finish my degree, and naikkan CGPA.

5. Lots of money. So that I can buy these:

* new notebook

* instax camera

* galaxy tab

* and the list goes on

6. Wish for my dearest to be here. Enough with your workaholic syg, you're younger than me but yet you look older. Jangan sampai awak jadi macam sugar daddy saya pulak -.-

7. Foods. And eat it without feeling guilty. Preferably cheesy and spicy.

8. Thesis siap dalam sekelip mata.

DONE.FOR.TONIGHT. Wishlist lain akan diupdate semasa ke semasa.

Offended

This is not for anybody in particular.

What's wrong with plan B?

Us, who have been in this situation for 3 bloody years, have been familiar with this thing. Broken promises, fake manifesto and all. Go to hell with that shit. I don't care anymore. Well, I do but does that makes any difference, since we are finishing in less than 3 months time. So just go with it. Nothing changed.

The thing is, I can't stand people who take 'Plan B' for granted. Or look down at those who have this 'Plan B' in mind. What's wrong with that? Are you hell sure that you're gonna be a doctor? You're damn sure that you gonna pursue MBBS and pass with flying colors?

I'm not being pessimistic. I adore those who have the determination and courage to carry on and speak out. I don't have any problem with that, AT ALL. But stop looking at us, the 'Plan B's' guys as if we're not gonna succeed if we don't take the actual road. Don't get me wrong, being a doctor has always been my ultimate ambition. But sometimes, I stumble, I fall and I had and still having a hard time trying to get back up. Don't tell me you never gave up in life. Kerat jari kalau cakap tak pernah.

That's when the 'Plan B' helps. It gives you hope to carry on with whatever you are doing with your life. It gives you something to hold on to, something that would make you believe there's light at the end of the tunnel. I understand how much those people wants to be a doctor. The prestige, the ambition, the satisfaction of saving life. Don't we feel the same way too? Cuma Tuhan bagi kami jalan yang berliku, sedikit susah daripada yang lain2. Jadi kenapa pandang kami sebelah mata?

And those who plan to go to the 'not taken road' tu pun, cut off your negative thoughts. Tak payah nak pengaruh orang lain yang betul2 nak benda tu. Tak payah nak hasut macam2. You go on with your plan, and let them do theirs. Masing2 ada rezeki masing2. We just gotta work hard and go for it.

So, yeah, be it my bff or someone I'm not that close to, I'm terribly offended. Because I do have 'Plan B' but I still work hard to follow the flow. Being a doctor is not easy, you're handling with people's life. That is my only concern. I'm afraid I can't handle this. I still don't have the courage to hold on to that responsibility. But I do really want to be a part of it.

After all, bukankah Allah SWT adalah sebaik-baik perancang, dan rancanganNya adalah yang terbaik?

Supaya tak lupa

I VANT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
*penat taw mak edit. huh*

Kawan masa depan?

I think I've been such a jerk to them for the past 3 weeks.

Cakap kasar2, maki apalancau semua *oops*, tak jaga hati mereka2 yang tersayang.

Entahlah, mood swing mungkin? Hormon imbalance? Can't be, bendera merah dah lepas.

Serabut barangkali.

I'm truly sorry dear friends, for my words and acts might hurt you. I never meant to.

Mungkin tak ada yang menegur, tapi aku yang rasa sendiri.

Biasalah, ego jugak yang menang nak ucap maaf dengan kawan. Kalau dengan ehem tak pulak.

Banyak dah aku susahkan kawan2, kena ambil hantar balik dari kolej, dengar luahan perasaan aku, layan gedik perasan aku. Banyaklah.

Ecah, Reny, Syira, Eg. And the rest.

Maaf taw. Budak comel ni serabut sikit. Sayang kau kau kau dan kau semua.

Putih

Tiba-tiba rasa tenang bila background dah bertukar kulit.
Mungkin selama ni asyik hitam kelam buat hati jadi kusam.
Bila dah putih, jadi suci bersih lagi diyakini. Hihi.
*Kenapa aku rasa gedik semacam cakap serupa ini? Ah AAK?*

Will write as soon as I'm done with this scabies thingamajig.

220511

You're always there for me. Always.
Susah senang saya awak selalu ada.
Jangan ingat saya tak nampak, cuma ego kadang2 jadi hantu dalam diri.
Saya tak pasti saya selalu ada masa jatuh bangun awak.
Saya tak tahu awak faham atau tidak apa saya rasa kat awak.
But one thing for sure.

I fucking love you so much. Keep that in mind.

Selamat 2 tahun untuk kita :)
Mari tumbuh tua sama2 nak?

Demotivated

Banyak sangat versi, banyak sangat pura2. Bosan.
Meluat, menyampah, semua ada.
Boleh tak tulen sikit?
Sumpah nak balik Tawau sekarang.

Sorry, serius tak reti nak bergaul dengan budak2 'sebelah kaki masuk syurga' ni. Fuck.

Reason why I don't watch GG

Nuff said